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Wednesday Links

It’s been too long since I offered Wednesday Links!  Here are some great links for encouraging us to live with generous love in our families:

Love:

Raising a Baby Well Is Like Climbing Mount Everest:  Just like mountain climbing, wise parenting takes preparation, focus, and practice.

Tiger Moms and Her Critics Are Both Right:  Fascinating.  This article looks at research which suggests that whether or not “tiger mothering” (pushing, pressuring, even nagging a child in order to get her to succeed) is beneficial is dependent upon the child’s culture.  Children raised in an Asian culture where community-identity is valued do okay while Western kids where individuality is valued do poorly.  Note:  in neither Asian nor Western cultures did children do well in critical, authoritarian households.

Empathy:

Play Ball:  A young mother questions her own inclination to sign up her son for sports.  “While most of us engage in activities with an end goal in mind (a competition, a recital, a game), my son and my niece wanted to engage in something for the sheer love of doing it.  After that realization, I began to look at this rush to put our kids in organized activities in a whole new light. I wondered if, perhaps, we as parents might do our children a disservice by taking them out of the yard and putting them on the field too soon. Or by placing them in organized activities where they interact with peers and other adults instead of nurturing their love for an activity with us, their parents, the people they really want to share their love with the most.”

Gentle Discipline:

Raising a Moral Child:  If you want to raise a kind, helpful, compassionate child, this NY Times article argues that a parent should 1) avoid making the child feel like a bad person through shaming and 2) focus on the child’s good character rather than her actions.

Kids with Strong Bond to Parents Make Better Friends:  When kids enjoy a warm, loving relationship with their parents, they are more responsive and caring in their childhood friendships.

Play:

Outdoor Play More Important than Indoor Play for a Child’s Development:  In this article, Darcia Narvaez looks at research which suggests that outdoor play is imperative to a child’s mental and physical well-being — even more critical than indoor play.  I would be cautious about the suggestion that indoor play is “detrimental” for children.  Indoor play is very different from outdoor play.  The article cites the dangers of video games on a child’s development, but there are so many more ways our kids play inside.  Indoors a child can build wooden block castles, make forts with his siblings, and play board games with his parents.  This are wonderful play experiences. It’s the balance of these experiences that matter:  kids need both outdoor play and indoor play; they need both self-directed free play, and family play which might be more organized.

Why Play with Your Child?:  A superb overview of the benefits of parent-child shared play.

Radiant Faith

How to Be a Prayer Warrior While Fighting the Battle of Parenthood:  Great practical tips from Charisse Tierney for getting into a habit of daily prayer no  matter how busy you are with parenting little ones.

A Strong Marriage

The Spirituality of Sex:  A great article from Dr. Greg Popcak about the true Catholic view of sexuality.

Tender Tidings Summer 2014 NOW AVAILABLE!!

Here it is: your free issue of Tender Tidings.  Don’t miss it and please pass it on to your friends!

In this issue:

  • FAMILY GAMES (playing our favorite childhood games with our kids, how real parents play games with their kids, and why play is so important for children)
  • A new Q & A column from Dr. Greg tackling some tough parenting questions
  • Marcia shares a stunning, unique idea for creating a prayer path outside for your family
  • What’s a strong marriage?  Do you have one?
  • Letting go of control in our parenting
  • Hydrating summer drinks

Here’s the flipbook.  For full view click on 4 arrows bottom left corner.  If you would prefer the PDF, you can download one from the flipbook.

Parents, Be Merciful to Your Children

“Only someone who has encountered mercy, who has been caressed by the tenderness of mercy, is happy and comfortable with the Lord.”  Pope Francis

Wednesday Links

Links to resources and articles for living out the 7 Building Blocks to a Joyful Catholic Home.  Here are some links for this week:

Love

The Importance of Friendship for School-Age Children:  How our love and affection can shape our child’s ability to form close friendships which is important for social thriving.  “Parents play a crucial role in their child’s social development. A child is not born with social skills. He needs parents who take an active role in preparing him to interact successfully with his peers. The most important thing parents can do for their child is to develop a loving, accepting, and respectful relationship with him.”

Play

The Disturbing Transformation of Kindergarten:   “One of the most distressing characteristics of education reformers is that they are hyper-focused on how students perform, but they ignore how students learn. Nowhere is this misplaced emphasis more apparent, and more damaging, than in kindergarten.”

Gentle Discipline

2 great links about teens!

Jobs:  Why Teenagers Don’t Do Chores and How to Use Follow-Through:  4 steps to effective follow-through with teenagers!

Teens Don’t Need to Rebel:  A great commentary from Dr. Greg Popcak on why it’s actually a recent cultural phenomenon for teenagers to rebel and 5 tips for preventing teen rebellion.

Radiant Faith

St. Joseph Altar:  I had never heard of this tradition which started in Sicily.  This article gives a great background and simple ways to make your own St. Joseph altar.

Tender Tidings Spring 2014 Now Available!

ICP’s FREE parenting magazine, Tender Tidings, is now available for viewing!

Our special topic is Education Options. This is honestly our best issue yet.  You’ll find tons of ideas for living a joyful, radiant life with your family.  Definitely check out Marcia’s article on doing the Stations of the Cross with kids!

A few changes in this issue:

*The special topic is limited to just one section.

*New columns:  Kim will write a regular column on one of the Building Blocks; Marcia has a new column on ways to bring the faith to our children in fun, hands-on ways.

Click on the Flipbook below to open it up.  You can view it in Flipbook form (super fun!) or download a PDF from the Flipbook.

Wednesday Links

Love

Love Starts with Babies by Darcia Narvaez, PhD.  “The way that caregivers love baby is the way baby will learn deep in their heart to love others. A supported, kept-calm baby will develop a sense of confidence and trust toward others.”  Yes!

Gentle Discipline

Parenting with Presence on-line summit FREE.  This is a free series of seminars presented by several experts. Not all of them are my cup of tea, but there are several speakers worth checking out, including Harville Hendrix (marriage counselor), Daniel Siegel (author of The Whole Brain Child), and Barbara Nicholson (founder of Attachment Parenting International).

When Kids Won’t Cooperate by Kim Cameron-Smith.  Understand the real nature of the “cooperative” child.

Radiant Faith

Lent ideas: Jessica at Shower of Roses offers this overview of what her family does for Lent – lots of great activities and links to inspire you.

Lent reading ideas:  Elizabeth Foss shares her Lenten “book basket” suggestions.

Wednesday Links

Love

Weak attachment to parents inhibits brains ability to fully experience pleasure.  How secure in your love your child feels in childhood predicts how hard he’ll have to work as an adult to feel good, to flourish emotionally.  “Early neurological pairing of threat and love creates an ambivalent attachment that inhibits healthy brain development.   Early stress (spanking, yelling, neglecting) creates neurological ambivalence in the child that endures throughout life.What does this mean?  It means that the mitigating influence of the parent is much more of a potential source of threat (as well as comfort) than any other source in the environment.  As parents, we are the emotional and neurological buffer to our children that promotes their future relational happiness.  Even a little hostility can hurt.”

Play

Why “Pretend Play” Is Important.  Pretend play is stimulating and fun, and that’s reason enough to do it. But might it also bring out the best in kids?

Radiant Faith

Here are some links to resources to make your Valentines Day Catholic-centric!

The Roots of Valentines Day

Printable Catholic Valentines

Valentines Day FEAST Ideas!

Gentle Discipline

The Importance of Routines:  Week 6 in Jane Nelsen’s 52 weeks of positive discipline tools.

Wednesday Links

Some links for this week on living the 7 Building Blocks!

Discipline

Listen:  Week 3 in Jane Nelson’s 52 weeks of Positive Discipline tools!   Parents complain that their kids don’t listen, but really it’s the parent who often fails to listen to the child.

A Strong Marriage

Date Night (strengthening marriages one date at a time):  I found this awesome site focused entirely on fun date night ideas with our spouses!  Not specifically Christian, but lots of great ideas and inspiration for affordable, unique ways to spend time with your honey.

Wednesday Links

Links to resources and articles for living out the 7 Building Blocks to a Joyful Catholic Home.  Here are some links for this week:

Love

Raising generous children:  don’t force them to give.  I found this article in Gwen Dewar’s “Top Ten Parenting Stories of 2013.”  A study (Cornell University) showed that forcing children to give and share actually backfires; that allowing them to  choose when and if they’ll share may make kids more generous.  This is a hard one.  I think practicing virtue is important for attaining it, even if we don’t feel like practicing it, but I’m glad to have this information.

Empathy

Family Environment Influences Child’s Ability to Handle Stress Long-Term: A new study from the University of Oregon looked at the way “parents with stress dysregulation shape their children’s developing stress sensitivity via both inherited and social-environmental paths.”   The study found that “the family environment continues to modulate [a child's] stress sensitivity over time, framing regulation as a dynamic interplay among early and later parental influences, and current conditions, rather than a static outcome.”  I think this study is interesting because it suggests that even if we haven’t always handled stress well in front of our children, there are many factors at play in raising our children to be patient, self-possessed, and peaceful.  Gaining a greater self-understanding over time, and learning to handle our parenting weaknesses, is important for our child’s well-being.

Gentle Discipline

52 Positive Discipline Parenting Tools.  I already posted a link to this on CAPC’s FB page, but here it is again.  Such a great idea.  Jane Nelson offers 52 weeks of easy, short topics for parents to learn about and practice in real life!

Spanking Children Slows Cognitive Development.  An article about a new book by Murray Strauss.  “Research shows that spanking corrects misbehavior. But it also shows that spanking does not work better than other modes of correction, such as time out, explaining, and depriving a child of privileges. Moreover, the research clearly shows that the gains from spanking come at a big cost. These include weakening the tie between children and parents and increasing the probability that the child will hit other children and their parents, and as adults, hit a dating or marital partner. Spanking also slows down mental development and lowers the probability of a child doing well in school,” Straus says.

Wednesday Links

Each week (or so) I will publish links to resources and articles that might helpful in living out the 7 Building Blocks to a Joyful Catholic Home.  Here are some links for this week:

Love, Empathy, Gentle Discipline

Bedtime for Toddlers:  Timing Is Everything.  Bedtime can be a real struggle for parents, especially with toddlers.  I found this study interesting, because my eldest son, according to my hubby, has a “late body clock.”  I always thought that sounded strange, but here’s a study to support Philip’s opinion!  If you have a toddler who fights bedtime, and you’re wondering whether he’s just not tired, this study might give you some food for thought.

10 Things Everyone Should Know About Babies:  an article by Notre Dame professor Darcia Narvaez about the unique needs and capacities of infants.

Radiant Faith

Salt Dough Baby Jesus.  I couldn’t resist sharing this one on CAPC’s FB page!  Super cute and easy hands on activity to do with your littles this week.

Creating a Yes Environment by Charisse Tierney. Charisse reflects on how we can say yes more often in our homes and our spiritual lives.