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Archive for Gentle Discipline – Page 2

Wednesday Links: Strength-Based Parenting

Here’s a good one.  Intentional Catholic parents may be interested in this recent study (published in Psychology) about the benefits of “strength-based parenting”:

“Children are more likely to use their strengths to effectively cope with minor stress in their life if they have parents who adopt a strength-based approach to parenting.  Strength-based parenting is an approach where parents deliberately identify and cultivate positive states, processes and qualities in their children. . . This style of parenting adds a ‘positive filter’ to the way a child reacts to stress. It also limits the likelihood of children using avoidance or aggressive coping responses.” 

What is meant by a positive filter? I believe it’s a parent’s loving verbal intervention when a child is in the early stages of distress or confronted with a demand on their time, abilities, or emotions — a demand that stretches them in some way.  If the child is upset or worried, we can coach our child in responding in a healthy way to their concern, in a manner that draws on their strengths.

This approach contrasts with a parent’s inclination to “fix” their child as if he’s broken or defective, and sending that message to our child even if we don’t intend to do so.

If you’re interested in identifying your child’s strengths more clearly, perhaps you’d enjoy this book by Jenifer Fox: Your Child’s Strengths.  I don’t usually recommend books that I have not read myself, but this seems to be a useful and engaging book about how to think about our children’s strengths.

TENDER TIDINGS Summer 2015 Now Available!

The summer issue of our free parenting magazine is now available!

Click on flipbook to explore:

In this issue:

  • Natural Family Planning:  In Real Life
  • Navigating family road trips
  • Gentle discipline: the real root of misbehavior
  • Create a sacramental memory book
  • picnic recipes
  • AND MORE!

WEDNESDAY LINKS

LOVE

Breastfeeding reduces risk of childhood leukemia.  A study from the JAMA Pediatrics concluded that breastfeeding for 6 months or longer reduces a child’s risk of leukemia by nearly 20 percent.  “The authors suggest several biological mechanisms of breast milk may explain their results, including that breast milk contains many immunologically active components and anti-inflammatory defense mechanisms that influence the development of an infant’s immune system.”

Raising Competent Children with Grit by Laura Markham.  12 tips for giving kids confidence and perseverance in the face of obstacles.

GENTLE DISCIPLINE

Free on-line parenting class.  The Center for Parenting Education is offering a free class on “The Right Attitude for Discipline that Works”.  June 16 8:30-9:30 p.m. EST.  “Yes!  It is possible to maintain a strong relationship with your children and build their self-esteem even as you discipline them.  Learn specific techniques and attitudes that will allow you to remain calm, clear and confident.”

WEDNESDAY LINKS: Kids & Chores!

In this edition of Wednesday links, here are some links that offer tips on getting kids to do their chores and that explain why doing chores is very good for our kids.

MY TOP PICK:  Here is a very clear 3-Part Series on chores from The Center for Parenting Education

Kids Who Do Chores Flourish by Temma Ehrenfeld.   “Studies indicate that kids who do chores also do better socially and in school through their teen years—and become happier adults.” Some interesting and important points & tips, including calling your child a helper rather than asking her to help.

How to Get Kids on Board with Chores from Parenting without Punishment.  “Children who refuse to do their chores or who drag their feet or do their chores incompletely are sending us a message in the only way they know how. Our job as parents is to decipher that message and help our children feel empowered, encouraged and motivated to contribute to the care of the family and family home. There are a number of ways to change the way we elicit our children’s help around the house.”

Chores and Children: Getting Kids to Help with Housework by Eileen Kennedy-Moore.  Clearly outlines how doing chores benefits our kids.  Several good tips on getting kids to help with chores in a positive way.  She makes the important point that scaring or threatening kids into helping is counter-productive:  “It’s easy to slide into thinking that when our children don’t pick up, it means they don’t love us or they don’t respect us.  We may feel angry, resentful, or dejected.  We may wonder how we ended up in the role of household drudge to our royal children! . . . Harsh scolding from a frustrated parent certainly won’t get children to embrace their role as valuable contributors to a smoothly running household. No healthy child is going to accept the message, ‘I’m suffering, so you should, too!’ “