In This Series
- Decision Making Tips for Teens
- When God’s Will Is Unclear
- 4 Doors of Discernment (this article)
I have more decision-making tips to share from Fr. Mike Schmitz!
Previous Posts
I’ve done two previous posts on guiding teenagers in discernment and decision-making.
- In my first post, I shared some of Fr. Mike’s basic discernment tips.
- In my second post, I shared some advice from Fr. Mike about what to do when God’s will remains unclear, even after much prayer and waiting.
In both posts, I shared copies of handouts I used with my kids. The handouts provide a snapshot of Fr. Mike’s points and a decision-making prayer on the back.
4 Doors of Discernment
This week, I shared with my kids another great video from Fr. Mike on how to test an important choice by asking four questions, especially in important decisions. Fr. Mike calls them the doors of discernment. These are really four questions about one door that we’re considering opening or walking through.
I gave my kids this handout to use while we watched the video together. It provides a snapshot of Fr. Mike’s points, and it has the same decision-making prayer on the back that I included on my other handouts.
Fr. Mike points out that sometimes we really want to do God’s will, but we are afraid of taking responsibility for the choice. In some ways, we want somebody else to make the decision for us. But God wants us to use our freedom to choose him. With that said, how do we know whether a choice is right for us? When we’re discerning whether to go through a door, we can ask four questions about it.
1. Is this a good door?
God has already revealed his will in many matters of moral judgment. We should never violate the moral law, including Church teaching. So if the door is a bad door, don’t go through it. If it’s a good door or a neutral door, it’s a possibility. We don’t need to waste our time on bad doors.
2. Is this an open door?
Is this choice really an option for us? Do our talents and personal traits match the door? If a job requires a PhD and we have a high school education, it is probably not an open door. If we apply to a college and the college rejects us, it is a closed door. So, is the door we’re looking at even a possibility, or do we need to do something before it becomes a possibility?
3. Is this a wise door?
Given who we are (our strengths and weaknesses) and the kind of person God is calling us to be, would this be a wise door to walk through? Would going through the door help us grow closer to God and become more virtuous, or would it stall our spiritual growth? We should ask ourselves whether our weaknesses and vulnerabilities will be exacerbated by going through the door. Or maybe walking through the door will get us out of a situation that imperils our spiritual life. At times, we go along with the crowd or remain in a situation because it’s easier in some way.
4. Is this a door I want?
If God hasn’t revealed to us whether he wants us to walk through the door, sometimes he wants us to wait for his answer. At other times, however, he wants us to use our intellect and will to make the decision ourselves. A religious sister once told me that sometimes God says to us, “Well, what do you want to do?” So, if the door is good, the door is open, and the door is wise, and God has not revealed his will about the door, we can take responsibility and make the choice.
More resources
How to Make Great Decision by Fr. Mike Schmitz
Pray, Decide, and Don’t Worry by Bobby & Jackie Angel with Fr. Mike Schmitz