Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 25:57 — 24.0MB) | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | RSS | More
Helicopter parenting! Over-involved, hovering parents are in the news again as the world learns about the way some Hollywood parents tried to game the college admissions system and bribe their child’s way into some elite schools, oftentimes even when the child didn’t care about going to these particular schools. In this podcast I answer some basic questions:
- What’s a helicopter parent? I explain some behaviors that might qualify as helicoptering, but of course we always have to consider the context. What would be helicoptering with a 12 year old is just common sense with a 12 month old.
- Why is helicopter parenting bad for kids? Kids who are over-parented may end up lacking self-confidence in the long term. Their emergent energy – that spark that allows them to explore and try new things – may be thwarted. They may lack coping skills when faced with disappointment or failure.
- What’s the difference between gentle parenting and helicopter parenting? Gentle, engaged parents make choices oriented toward their child’s ultimate flourishing; they are protecting their child’s dignity; they are willing to engage in the mysterious dance of holding on to the child long enough to protect them while also letting them go at the right moments when they are testing their wings. Helicopter parents make choices out of their own fear or alarm without considering the long-term impact on their child’s development. They are often fearful of the child’s failure or even losing the child to maturity.
Resources
Signs of Emotional Health: The Venturing Forth Spirit. My article explaining the emergent process in children. Helicoptering thwarts a child’s emerging sense of self and his sense of competence and curiosity.
The Over-Parenting Epidemic: Why Helicopter Parenting Is Bad for Your Kids . . and Dangerous for You, Too by George Glass and David Tabatsky. I don’t usually recommend books I haven’t read myself, but this one seems very good.
The Effects of Helicopter Parenting by Dr. Joel Young. How over-parenting can increase anxiety in children.