The devotion to the memory of the dead is one of the most beautiful expressions of the Catholic spirit.

-Pope John XXIII

On November 2, the Church celebrates All Souls’ Day. On this day, we remember the dead, especially our loved ones who died in the past year. I have some ideas for ways you might observe All Souls as a family. In fact, the whole month of November is devoted to the holy souls in purgatory, so you can use these ideas all month. You don’t have to do everything, but perhaps you can find a way to incorporate one idea into your plans this month.

1. Make a Prayer Plan

Incorporate some prayers for the dead into your family prayers during the month of November. A simple idea: At the end of your table blessing, add: “And may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.” It’s also traditional to pray the “De Profundis” prayer (Psalm 130) on All Souls Day.

We like the Requiem aeternam (“Eternal Rest”) prayer, which we usually pray at the end of night prayer in November. Here is a printable file that includes a large displayable prayer card and a sheet of small prayer cards so each family member can have one.

2. Create an Altar for the Dead

If you have a family altar (or “altarcito”), create a small memorial for your departed loved ones. I’ll suggest a general approach to putting your altar together, but there is no one way to create such an altar. European traditions differ vastly from South American traditions; the important thing is to find a way to honor your family members. Feel free to add your own cultural touches.

If you don’t have a designated family altar, you can use any flat surface (side table, shelf). Lay a cloth down; create a focal point with a tall vase of flowers, a religious statue, or candle. Then arrange photos of your loved ones around this focal point. You might display images of your loved ones’ patron saints alongside their photos. I like to include obituaries and funeral prayer cards if I have them. In Mexican homes, they often place their loved ones’ favorite foods on the altarcito! You can frame the large printable prayer that I provide above as a reminder to pray for your loved ones.

Here is our November All Souls altar last year:

3. Make Soul Cakes

In “the old days,” poor people would go house to house offering to pray for each family’s dead loved ones. In return, families would give them soul cakes, so the practice was called “souling.” (Trick-or-treating probably originates in “souling.”) Giving out soul cakes on November 2 continues as a tradition to this day in many countries, including Portugal.

I’m planning to make soul cakes on All Souls Day this year. I’m trying this recipe from Catholic Cuisine, but you can find other options online. We’ll share some of our soul cakes with our neighbors, including our next-door neighbor who is like a grandmother to my kids.

While we’re baking, I’ll explain to my children why praying for the dead is so important. Many of our loved ones will go to heaven, but they go to Purgatory first because they’re not ready to encounter God’s perfection and holiness.

“All who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven. The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect” (CCC 1030-1031).

We call the souls in Purgatory “holy” because they can no longer sin; they are guaranteed entry to heaven eventually. But we also call them “poor” because there isn’t anything they can do themselves in purgatory to decrease the pain or duration of purgatory. They are dependent on our prayers. This is why praying for the dead is a spiritual work of mercy.

God bless you and yours.