In This Series
- Decision Making Tips for Teens
- When God’s Will Is Unclear (this article)
- 4 Doors of Discernment
More decision making skills for our older kids and teens! As I explained in this post, I’m doing some discernment work with my high school senior as she decides where to go to college. I’m including my two younger children in these discussions. I’m using some YouTube videos by Fr. Mike Schmitz as launching points for discussions. In my last post, I shared some of Fr. Mike’s basic discernment tips.
What Does God Want Me to Do?
Recently, I shared another Fr. Mike video with my kids that focuses on the anxiety we can feel when God’s will isn’t clear for us. It’s called “What Does God Want Me to Do?” Especially in high stakes decisions, we want a lightning bolt moment where God’s will is unmistakable! Fr. Mike provides great advice in this video.
I made a handout to give to my kids as we watched the video, summarizing Fr. Mike’s points. I also connect three virtues to the three points he makes.
1. Patience (Find Clarity in Ambiguity)
Fr. Mike talks about the Israelites wandering in the desert. A cloud sat over the ark of the covenant, telling them when to worship, and the cloud moved when it was time for them to pull up camp and move. They stayed put when the cloud stayed put, and they moved when the cloud moved.
We wish our lives were that clear. However, Fr. Mike points out that the Israelites had to tolerate long periods of waiting, when nothing seemed to be happening. Maybe they didn’t know what they should be doing. For the Israelites, God’s will was clear: DO NOTHING. There was clarity in the ambiguity.
I shared with my kids that living with this kind of ambiguity allows us to practice the virtue of patience.
2. Fidelity (Pay Attention to What God HAS Revealed)
When we’re waiting for God’s guidance in an important decision, we can practice the virtue of fidelity as we cling with confidence to what God has already revealed to us. He has revealed the Church’s moral teaching, the sacraments, Scripture, the Beatitudes. In fact, remaining faithful to the Church and rooting our lives in the sacraments will prepare our hearts to recognize God’s will for us in our particular situation.
3. Trust (Today Is Enough)
Even when God reveals a small step that we can take or opens a door, rarely is the entire plan revealed. We have to trust God with our lives when the future seems unclear. Fr. Mike uses the example of Mary at the Annunciation. The angel invites her to become the Mother of God; after she agrees, the angel leaves. That’s it. The angel doesn’t tell her how it would all work out. He didn’t give her a binder with tabbed sections about how to handle obstacles and difficult people! She had to step out in faith, trusting God one step at a time. We don’t need to know what God wills for us for the rest of our lives. We only need to attend to what is asking of us today.
Rarely does God communicate with us in lightning bolt moments, but he does give us what we need to get where we need to go. We can encourage our teens to be patient in times ambiguity, remain faithful to God’s will as he has already revealed it, and trust in God to lead them through the right door at the right time.